I Don’t Speak Chinese

by J.D. Roth

For my birthday, Mom gave me a gift card to Land’s End. (Thanks, Mom!) Because my five-year-old slippers are dirty and stinky, I ordered a pair of mocassins. I didn’t expect them to be crafted by Native Americans, of course, but it was a little surprising to find that they were made in China.

I wore them for a couple of days with an annoying tag sticking out of each slipper. Finally, I tore the tags out in frustration. Before I threw them away, I checked to see if there was any important information. Turns out, it’s hard to tell. The tags are cryptic.

“What does this mean?” I said, showing a tag to Kris.

“I don’t know,” she said. “The slipper is made out of waffles?”

Anyone have a clue?

Updated: 31 March 2008

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