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I saw Peter Jackson’s Helms Deep twice on Wednesday. Though I liked the film better the second time, I was still disappointed. Much of that disappointment is a result of baggage that I bring as an audience-member and not a result of Jackson’s filmmaking; nearly every other review I’ve read or heard has been glowing.
I was going to write a proper paragraph-based review with nice transitions, etc. etc. etc. but I’m not up to the effort. Instead I’m going to provide a review which uses lots of bullet points. Warning: spoilers ahead!
Please keep in mind that I do not hate Peter Jackson’s Helms Deep; I’m just disappointed by it. I was also disappointed by The Fellowship of the Ring last year, though I’ve warmed to it after multiple viewings. Most of my review focuses on the negative aspects of Helms Deep, but that’s only because all of the other reviews are glowing and you can read them to find out about all that is good about the film.
Here are some disappointing features shared by The Fellowship of the Ring and Peter Jackson’s Helms Deep:
- Intrusive music
- Howard Shore‘s score isn’t bad, but it’s omnipresent, and sometimes overwhelms the action on the screen. Maybe this is a problem with me as an audience member. Perhaps others like it. I don’t.
- Moving camera
- I was sick last year when I saw The Fellowship of the Ring. The always-moving camera made me feel even more nauseated. Peter Jackson (and his unit directors) don’t seem to have enough confidence in their framing to allow a simple static shot. The camera pans and sweeps and soars and zooms and never stays in one place for long. It’s dizzying.
- Elves
- Yes, elves are wispy and mystic. But these films play them in such a languorous fashion that they nearly put me to sleep whenever they appear. The elves speak s-l-o-w-l-y. They move s-l-o-w-l-y. It gives the intended other-worldly effect, but it also slows the pacing. Rivendell and Lothlorien are the two slow points in Fellowship. The Arwen/Elronod/Galadriel section slows Helms Deep. I’m not suggesting that these scenes should not be in the films, just that they should have been done differently.
- Glossing
- Because The Lord of the Rings is a huge story, it’s impossible for Peter Jackson to put everything on the screen. It’s inevitable that some things have to be cut. Tom Bombadil? Yes, I love him, too, but he’s not essential to the story. However, I don’t understand why essential bits were cut (or glossed over): Galadriel’s gifts in Fellowship (which, fortunately, are restored in the extended DVD), Merry and Pippin’s experiences with the orcs, the Ents, etc. Merry and Pippin are give rather short shrift in Helms Deep, which is unfortunate.
- Battles
- My least favorite parts of these films are the battle sequences. The book has battle sequences, and they are integral to the story. I am not opposed to battle sequences, even long ones, if they are done well. The battle scenes in these films are not done well. They’re long and nonsensical. Jackson spends a lot of time establishing that the orcs, especially the Uruk-Hai, are threatening, yet when they enter combat, they’re surprisingly ineffective. They’re like Star Wars stormtroopers with swords instead of blasters. In Ewoks Attack, pint-sized teddy bears are able to take out trained battle troops with rocks. In both Fellowship of the Ring and Helms Deep, Merry and Pippin take about trained battle troops with rocks. We’re supposed to find these villains threatening?
Here are my specific comments regarding Peter Jackson’s Helms Deep:
Negatives
- Despite the movie’s three hour length, things felt rushed. Important plot points are glossed over in favor of the epic final battle scene.
- Some plot points, especially those related to the battle sequences, are ludicrous. From the sheer stupid:
- Where do Merry and Pippin get the stones that they throw while perched upon Treebeard’s shoulders?
- Why are they throwing stones again? They did it at the end of Fellowship; it was stupid then, it’s stupid now: these hobbits are hefting and throwing stones so large, and throwing them with such accuracy, that they kill orcs? Give me a break.
to just silly on an abstract level:
- If Saruman is such a mastermind, if he’s going to the trouble to mass ten thousands of orcs, then:
- Why doesn’t he give them a little training so that they don’t fall like matchstick men at the first hint of combat. These Uruk-Hai are supposed to be tough and scary, yet they’re so delicate that two hobbits can hold off dozens of them. That’s not very scary. They’re no better than rats.
- Why doesn’t he provide them with combined arms? The only weapons the Uruk-Hai seem to have are spears and those funny pseudo-carpenters squares. That’s fine for close combat, but it kind of sucks when your opponents have longbows, you know? At Helms Deep, there are two Uruk-Hai with crossbows, but they’re seen only briefly for dramatic effect. They certainly aren’t around when they’d actually be useful (as when Gimli and Aragorn are scaling the wall of the keep).
- Wormtongue moans, “Where will we find an army large enough to storm Helms Deep” and Saruman takes him to the window to see tens of thousands of Uruk-Hai massed outside Isengard. Give me a break. What? Wormtongue doesn’t know anything of Saruman’s master plan? And somehow thousands of orcs managed to gather outside in hushed whispers and tiptoes? This is an example of the filmmakers choosing the nonsensical simply for dramatic effect.
- Another example of the nonsensical in the service of the dramatic: as the Uruk-Hai march to Helms Deep they make an impressive thump-thump-thump marching-in-unison kind of sound. That’s great, except they are obviously not marching in unison. What we should hear is a chaotic shuffling of feet, but that just wouldn’t be as fun now, would it?
- Gollum has no dangly bits where his dangly bits should be.
- Theoden should speak in iambic pentameter.
- People have complained that Gimli is relegated to comic relief. He certainly serves that purpose in Peter Jackson’s Helms Deep, but I don’t mind. I’m more miffed that Legolas doesn’t play a larger role. Legolas rocks. Also, Merry and Pippin’s story has been truncated. (Though I suspect we’ll see more of them in an extended DVD.)
- Our heroes are girding themselves for battle. Gimli is in the middle of trying on a chainmail dress when elven archers march through the gates. Everyone rushes to greet them. When Gimli lumbers down the stairs, he is now clothed for combat. What? What happened to the chainmail dress he was just wearing?
- Gandalf and the Rohirrim charge down an impossibly steep slope. Any horse galloping down this embankment would, in reality, lose its footing on the first stride and tumble headlong into the waiting army of orcs. The scene looks silly.
- Theoden and Aragorn’s final charge knocks over orcs on the bridge as if they were bowling pins. These orcs look completely computer animated in the way they march exactly alike, the way none of them stand aside to let the riders pass, the way they’re simply there to be pushed off the bridge. It’s silly.
- Did I mention I don’t like it when Merry and Pippin throw stones?
- I don’t mind Peter Jackson making changes to the story to improve how it plays on the screen, but some of the changes seem to serve no purpose. Why have Faramir take Frodo to Gondor? What purpose does it serve? None that I can see. Worse is Aragorn’s faux death? Is this simply so he can enter a fugue state in which he dreams of Arwen? This side-plot seems contrived and unnecessary. (Indeed, it literally is contrived and unnecessary.)
- Not to beat a dead horse but: the battle films are overlong and poorly staged. (And this is the primary reason that the other bits need to be glossed over). Yes, I know I’m a minority voice here. Most people love the battle scenes, especially Helms Deep. I’m not one of them. The final battle in Fellowship (the movie) is drawn from two pages in the book, yet lasts twenty minutes on screen. The film version features Merry and Pippin finding stones on the floor of a forest (problem one) that they heave (problem two), toppling orcs (problem three, especially since the orcs are, seemingly, killed by the throws). This is typical of all the battle scenes in both films so far. On Weathertop, Aragorn throws a torch at one of the Nazgul and it goes up in flames. What? did he bathe in kerosene? The battle of Helms Deep is rife with these kind of errors. I can’t help thinking that if Saruman had thought to construct more than two ranged weapons. Really, the battles are my biggest beef with the films. The other gripes I can forgive. It’s not even a problem with the script. I don’t mind battle scenes, and they could still follow the same script but just have the action on screen be more consistent, less preposterous, better edited.
Positives:
- It was clever to merge Gandalf’s voice with Saruman’s when Gandalf the White first appears. I like that.
- The acting is uniformly excellent, especially that from the supporting players. Grima, Theoden and Eowyn are fantastic, almost Shakespearean. This is the element of the books and the films that I love: the literate epic drama, not the fantastic battle scenes. Pare down the battle scenes and give me more intrigue with Theoden and Grima and Saruman! Give me more acting, less fighting. This would make a better film. (For me.)
- Generally, I’m not a fan of horses; they’re big clumsy beasts that step on young boys and scar them for life (literally and figuratively). However, I think horsemanship is a skill that transfers well to film and I want more. The little that is on screen is great, but give me more more more!
- Wormtongue rocks. Well done!
- Arwen has fantastic lips. Very kissable. They’re the best part of the film, really.
- Gollum has no dangly bits where his dangly bits should be.
- Jeremy says: “Those rocks actually fall like rocks instead of Styrofoam blocks.” (This is true of the bigger pieces, but the smaller “stones” in close-ups still fall like Styrofoam blocks.)
- Treebeard: “That doesn’t make any sense to me. But, then, you are very small.”
- Gollum’s internal conflict plays well on the screen. It’s written and performed well.
- The song that plays over the end credits is by one of my favorite obscure artists, Emiliana Torrini. It’s great!
I like nearly every portion of Peter Jackson’s Helms Deep in isolation. If you were to show me any one scene, I’d like it. However, when the scenes are strung together into a film, something seems to be missing. The whole is less than the sum of its parts.
Remember: I do not hate this film. It’s above average in fact, meriting a 6.0 on J.D.’s Patented Move Rating Scale. I had hoped for more.
One of my favorite bits from Tolkien:
Frodo
If you ask it of me, I will give you the One Ring.Galadriel
You offer it to me freely? I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this.In place of a Dark Lord you would have a queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Treacherous as the sea! Stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me and despair!
I pass the test. I will diminish and go into the west and remain Galadriel.
This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. I just stumbled across this website while looking for something else, but there are a few thoughts that crossed my mind after reading the first paragraph on this website. First: GET A LIFE! This is so stupid! Who really is going to care how you feel about how close a movie is to a book? Everyone can come up with their own oppinion without possitive or negative help from others. Also, do you have any idea how much time and effort was put into these movies and how hard Peter Jackson and the other people involved worked to stay true to the books? No one is perfect and it isn’t fair to pick out every little detail that may be off slightly when the movies were worked on so hard.
The other point i wanted to make was: it’s a movie. You go to see movies to escape from reality for a little while, not to analise until you can’t see straight anymore. These movies are made to make others happy, not to give you something to spend your entire life on trying to find everything wrong with it. If you don’t enjoy a movie, then don’t see it again and let it go at that. Some of us really appriciate what Peter Jackson, the cast and the crew of LOTR did, and we don’t really care more than normal about what had to be left out, because we know there are good and unavoidable reasons for it. Maybe you guys should find something else to spend your time on and put your efforts to that actually does something good for someone.
I think Peter has one more movie to make to compleat the Lord of the Rings saga and that movie is the prequal to the fellowahip of the ring. I and im sure a lot of other people would like to see the hobbit made!! so if any oe can get this suggestion to peter somehow i would appraiceat it greatly
Hi, my name is Andre Roberto.I am Brasil.
Sou seu grande fa, meu sonho e ser cineasta como voce Peter.Adorei `The lord of the rings` e `King Kong`.Tenho uma septologia que voce vai gostar de dirigir, se chama `Medium` e uma trilogia otima `The third mundial war`.Pense nessas obras eno bem que fara se me ajudar a ser diretor.Obrigado e nao me deixe sem respostas.
I want to be in one of his movies so can i please have his email address or address
Hi my name is Naomi Robinson, I have a series of book’s that I would like to see be made into movies and since Peter Jackson did such a good job on Lord of the Rings I was hoping mabe he could do this other series to. If he would like to could I have his email address.
Ohh I forgot to leave my email address its: [email protected]
The series of books that I would like Peter Jackson to make into movies are called: “The song of Albion”
by Stephen Lawhead. Please tell him for me, or give me his email or something if he’s ok with it.
Again my email is: [email protected]
UR ALL FUCKING GEEKS
G’day
I’m from Australia and stumbled on this sit while looking for floor plans of Helm’s Deep.
I’m a fan of the films and am doing a digital graphics project on the lands surrounding the story. My brother and i watched the two totwers in one second frame times ( to take up school holiday’s)and found some things
. Eomer’s sword falls frm it’s sheath when he first confronts aragorn.
. The pin that holds legolas’s gear to his back changes sides at least four times in fangorn forest.
. You only see one side of aragorn’s face in the Moria scene as he injured it in a riding accident.
but hey, The movies were made by a genius and get off golloum’s nad’s, he was tortured in the first movie, who’s to say the orc’s didn’t make him a saprano!!
I was slightly dissapointed by king kong but the LOTR trillogy is pure genius. Some characters needed to be adjusted (like faramier) to emphisise the difficuilty of the journey that tolkin did so well in the books.
IF ANYONE HAS THE PLANS FOR HELMS DEEP, MINAS TIRITH OR ANY OTHER PLACES IN MIDDLE EARTH CAN YOU PLEASE SENT THEM TO ME AT:
[email protected]
P.S. I have rellies in NZ and they say that an email has been circulated by Jackson requesting names and locations of people the rough dimensions of dwarves for the hobbit, i was too tall, but the mail does beg the question as th just what is going on at wetta studios and PJ’s head.
Thank’s Beached_squishy
Hey watch your language dude.
I TOTALLY disagree with this blog post. Lord of the Rings is by far the movie with most awards given in the entire human history.
When you can’t even make a hollywood movie yourself, make sure you don’t diss any of them. Especially Lord of the Rings.
STFU!
AMAZING MOVIE. I CRIED LIKE A BABY IN THE END. PETER YOU HAVE REALLY SUCCEDED
Hi I was wondering if you would remake the movie Eragon. I was very upset on how they made it. And was hopeing you could make a better one.
I read LotR 2 times.(including The Hobbit)I refuse to say anything good about this atrocity to Tolkien’s wonderful work.How can you possibly say this was good?1)Elves?When did the Elves show up in Helm’s Deep?Never.Where were the Hurons?If I remember correctly,the Uruk-Hai did not have any gun powder to blow up the wall.Actually, the orcs just crawled in through the grate.Peter Jackson, could you have screwed up more?I think not.
RE:Derek
Have you read the books?Obviously not.If you had read the books you wouldn’t care about the awards.THESE MOVIES SUCKED MAJORLY!
Hey! Does anyone have Peter jacksons e-mail address? Or better yet, Orlando Blooms? I’m making a movie, and I need to contact Orlando so I can tell him about it, but I don’t know how to contact him. If you can help, I’d really appreciate it!
Thank you!
🙂
LISTEN every 1 malis person who love this silly MAGGOT PETER JACKSON … just start crying now Bcoz THIS PERSON WILL LIVE NO MORE …….soon we GONNA kill HIM . NO one will can stop us. ARE U HEAR PETER JACKSON ..? NO, BCOZ U DOSEN’T like to LISTEN some one . U HAVE NO AUTHERITY REMAIN TO DO MORE HELP ANYONE … U R LOSE THE ORDER OF OUR ‘LORD’….U R THE BAD GODFATHER OF THE H.K. MELON….. IF U WILL NOT BE ANSWARING THAN THESE PERSON WILL DIE TOO… BY – H.K. MELON
now u must decide PJ is it THE BEAGNING or THE END…..befor the beagning of SOMEONE. all is decided by ‘OUR PRECIOUS’.
heya i woud like 2 b a director when im older and i would like 2 email Peter Jackson because he has rly inspired me
thx!
You are all f*****g stupid dumbasses. It is not ‘PETER JACKSON”S HELMS DEEP’. The Two Towers ARE Orthanc and Baradur. Look in the goddamn posters! The two-pronged one is Baradur and the four-pronged one is Orthanc. GET IT RIGHT!
OK ppl I want to be an actor and i wish to play a minor part in one of peter jacksons movies but i dont have an email that i can contact him on so if any of u have his email address can u plz send it to me at [email protected]
OK ppl I want to be an actor and i wish to play a minor part in one of peter jacksons movies but i dont have an email that i can contact him on so if any of u have his email address can u plz send it to me at [email protected]
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Listen up everyone. I have the idea for the ultimate movie Quadtrilogy.
Legends of Promethia: Prelude of Destiny.
Two brother’s from a powerful race are sent in space pods and arrive on earth. Their race is a genocidal one, bent on eliminating weaker species such as homo sapiens. They arrive as children and by fate crash near the abode of the Earth guardian. In this world, powerful beings exist and people are impressed by them and admire them as we do stars and athletes. There is a massive universe with different sentient races inhabiting hundred’s of planets. The earth guardian takes them into his abode and trains them to be mighty, but good warriors. The emphasis in this first movie will be on the very intimate realationship between the two brothers. As they grow older one of the brothers named Prakash somehow far surpasses his younger brother, Karthik in terms of power. Soon thereafter, a tyrant from a race known as the Geostigma arrives on Earth, desiring to eliminate its inhabitants and sell the planet on the galatic market. As Prakash is stronger, he decides to encounter the titanic beast and leave Karthik out of it. Meanwhile, Maxsimus Power (the earth guardian) tells his adopted son, Karthik of a mystical chamber. The chamber is called the Dark Acceleron and allows its user to perform 7 “neo” (time-compressed) years worth of training in only 7 earth (24 hour) days. The catch is, that the training regimen is excessively brutal and potentially fatal; is run by a malevolent demon who desires warrior souls; and can only be entered once. There a three levels of training in the Dark Acceleron. The “easiest” of the three levels is known as “Strength.” Maxsimus managed to survive the brutal training through his determination to be the mightiest earthling. Karthik wishes to become more powerful than his brother and picks the “intermediate” level known as “Power.” Meanwhile, the tyrant known as Mortamus is killing countless innocent human’s with sadistic glee. Prakash confront’s the monster, and manage’s to convince him to fight on a desolate planet so innocent blood would not be spilt. Prakash is unable to breathe in space, and so Mortamus creates a mystic portal to telaport the duo to the barren planet. A epic battle takes place there, and Prakash is able to dismember Mortamus using his own “penatrata disc” against him. Dying, Mortamus summons his last ounce of strength to create a massive earthquake in the planet’s core. If Prakash does not find the portal to get back to Earth, he will die with the impending supernova explosion. Prakash desperately tries to find the portal but it mysteriously disappears and he dies in the explosion. The movie ends with a devastated Maxsimus crying and Karthik emerging from the Dark Accelarator battered and bruised but alive. Maxsimus states that Prakash can be ressurected but the means to do so is impossible. Karthik is devastated and states that a world without his brother is a world not worth living in. Credits roll.
The Movie will use the most advanced special effects on the market. The lush, organic aesthetic of WETA, and the techno-solar eye candy of Lucas Arts. The musical score will consist of rousing epic tracks that will be unforgetable. For instance, think of music on the wavelength of Navras, Reddrum, Lacrimosa, Rock Jail House, Requiem for a dream, and Halo theme song. The greatest music in cinematic history. The writing will be mesmerizingly sharp; poetic and philosophical, but with a bad-ass FU-edge. The acting will be epic, chilling, and surreal, as will the battle scenes. Think the of the “Matrix Revolutions” but 20 times superior and using hyper-speed battle mechanisms. If you’ve watched Dragonball-Z then you’ll know what I’m talking about. Take those battle sequences but give them 21st century state-of-the-art real-live motion gloss. The movie would win for best director, screenplay, music, special effects, actor, and movie. Prakash is more powerful than Goku. He can move planets using either his raw strength or telekenesis. He can also travel 5 times the speed of light and can also destroy stars using his assorted fire-ball techniques. His signature attack is called the “Apocalipta” or my version of the Kamehameha wave. He can survive nuclear blasts but not supernova explosions. Now on to the second movie…
Legends of Promethia: Legendias Naitra.
Maximus tells Karthik that there is a planet known as sorrowna where the guardian of the orb of infinita lives. This orb contains a genie that can grant one wish: any wish. However, obtaining the orb is practically impossible. In order to even have access to the guardian’s domain Karthik must obtain three medaillons. Karthik must enter Sorrowna and overcome obstacle after obstacle. There are three elemental God’s that live in three temples for one thing. They are the God’s of Fire, Water, and Earth. In each temple, Karthik must face hoards of elemental foes and elemental guards, and solve enigmatic logical and envionmental puzzles. Karthik must battle countless demons in order to even access any of the temples. You can see how arduous and complicating a mission this becomes for our hero! Karthik has now surpassed his brother because of the Dark Acceleron training (Prakash was never aware of its existence). Karthik vows that he will not fail his mission and plans on using the wish to resurrect all the innocent people (including his brother) who met their demise at the hands of Mortamus. Maxsimus bids him farewell as Karthik makes way for Sorrowna in a space capsule. In in the capsule Karthik enters the planet’s coordinates in the capsule’s AI and initaiates auto-pilot. He then hibernates for a week. After a week, he wakes up and realizes he is within Sorrowna’s atmosphere. An mystical green force field engulfs the planet. Karthik sets his capsule on quad-speed and manages to penetrate the field and crashland into the planet. In the process, the capsule is destroyed and Karthik is badly injured. Luckily his father gave him Panabena’s; vitality beans from a mystical realm that fully cure any physical ailments. He injests one and his path towards greatness is set forth. I’m not going to go into meticulous detail about the temples and the like. Let me just give some examples of puzzles and enemies he’ll face. The first temple is the Earth Temple. Karthik will face earth-based elemental creatures and will use fire attacks to incinerate them. He will solve puzzles far more difficult than the one’s in the earth temple in Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Before the Fire Temple Karthik will face thousand of inferno-blazing demons armed with flaming blades and fire-bows. Karthik creates a monolithic storm using barometric physics and his extensive knowledge of meterology. Did I mention that Prakash and Karthik both speak 30 languages, have 200-level IQ’S and photographic memories? I want my two protagonists to be humble but outstanding; kind but bad-ass; and powerful yet vulnerable. Those might seem like oxymorons’ but I think you get what I mean. My brain is saturated with detail regarding the setting, dialogues, battle sequences, effects etc, but It cannot be transcribed onto virtual sheets. I wish you could see, hear, and feel what I am. Anywho, wiht the fire-creatures weakened from the water Karthik eliminates them all with a gargantuan hydrogen bomb worthy wave beam that he calls the Destructokon. The battles against the elemental God’s will be mind blowing. Play music from the God of War soundtrack such as “The Spartan” and “Minotaur Boss Battle” and feel the epic-fury. In each battle against the God’s Karthik will initially be getting his ass whooped,but willuse his wits to use the God’s weaknesses against them. Something involving titanic reversiving glass and solar heat to eliminate the Earth guardian, water crystals and condensation involving frost to defeat the fire guardian, and electricity and entrapment to kill the Water Boss… The movie will be 2 1/2-3 hrs long so fill in all the blanks involving the locales, prerequsities, puzzles, and boss-battles. I want the audience to emphatize (nopt sympathize) with Karthik, and root for his victory all the way until the credits roll. The paramount Hollywood writers will have to find a finite equilibreum between near-omnipotent almost perposterous-hyperbolic power and humane, and endearing characterization for the Quadrilogy to be a phemnoneon. Sorta like Superman but even more memorable and “I was born to experience this” chilling. After having obtained the three medaillons Karthik is transported to the Temple of Destiny. He places the three medaillons in three grooves on an alter and reads a “Zoranian” (the language of the ancients who created the universe) riddle. “Thy, who has achieved the semmingly impossible have yet another task to achieve before thy is blessed with our finest weapon. Only luminance from that which brings life shall illuminate the path towards the final test…” The Temple is pitch black but Karthik has nocturnal vision so that isn’t a problem. There is a small sliver on the atrium of the temple. Karthik can see that it is dark outside. After some thought, Karthik realizes that he must cause the sun to rise to do so. Sorrowna’s sun is 30 times larger than the sun we have on earth. Kartik rarely uses his telekenetic powers and is also badly injured after all his battles. He only has 2 Panabena’s left. Summoning up all his strength, he moves the gigantic sun that is billons of miles away a few million miles so that the sun rises and casts a ray of light on the pedastle. A esotertic door with rune engraving open’s behind the pedastle. A warm, subtle glow of light permates from the entrance and Karthik enters the room. In it he finds the legendary weapon of The Zora’s themselves knows as Omnipota. It is the most powerful weapon in the entire universe, and is the only weapon capable of killing the otherwise omnipotent and immortal orb guradian. As Karthik lifts the sword, he is teleported to the Orb guardian’s realm. He finds that she is drop-dead gorgeous (think an exotic zaftig Jessica Alba with ponderous ta-ta’s). Her name is Kalienna and she has been guarding the orb for 6 millenia. She tells him that no one had even made it past the first test in the Earth Temple and that she extremely impressed by his superb prowess and wit. Kartik tells her that he doesnt wish to fight and wants to use the orb to ask for a benevolent wish (resurecting innocent people). She doesnt believe him because she cannot fanthom anyone being so altruistic (I mean would a sane person go through all these brutal trials and tribulations and not use the wish for narcissistic gain?). What Kartik isn’t aware off is that Kalienna’s father was the guardian of the orb, and was killed by a malevolent necromancer who wanted to use the orb to attain absolute power. Before his death, her father made a dying wish to his daughter, beseeching her to guard the orb with every fiber in her being.She vowed that she would and slewed the necromancer.After that traumatic experience she grew very paranoid. Anyway, the greatest battle in cinematic history ensues, making the neo-smith fight look amateur “You-Tube” sludge. A “bullet-time” wave engulfs the screen for a second. This wave is created to slow the speed down of their battle so that it could be perceived with human eyes. They’re actually fighting at FTL speeds that would normally be undetectable by human eyes. Each punch from these god-like warriors creates massive holes in the space-time continuem. So it seems like their fighting in space and in a sense their in an alternate dimensions. I want Prakash and Karthik to be more powerful that Prime or even pre-crisis superman. Remember the giant-star moving thingy? I doubt pre-crisis superman could pull that off. Anyway, Kalienna is way too powerful and Kartjik eventually falls. Kalienna is impressed and saddened that she is hurting him. Why? She senses the goodness in him and secretly is tired of devoting her life to guarding the orb (6 millenia can do that to people). Maxismus spoke of a legend…a legendary force that would bring peace to the universe and would be unstoppable. It was written in lore and prophesized that this being would be a cronos (Prakash and Karthik’s species). Prakash, Karthik, and Maxismus have always wondered if they could eventually become this supreme power. Deep down they think its just an urban legend but they unconsiously strive for the apex of supremacy. Anyway, Kalienna feels that Karthik has a phenomenal power repressed within him that if unleashed would make him a tour de force to be reckoned with. She lies and tells Karthik that she was the one who disabled the portal that killed his brother. Karthik’s birthmark glows a crimson red. His battle scares heal. He sees an image in his head of countless innocent orphaned children, blood-soaked and crying asking Kartjik why he didn’t save them. Finally he see’s his brother’s butchered and blood-saturated corpse utter, “And worst of all…you failed me…” I want this scene to be blood-curdling,horrifying, tear-jerking, and tingling. Karthik looks towards Kalienna and the then the sky and then roars a thundering scream of, “I…will…not….fail!!!!!!!” He yells so loud that the theater seems to be vibrating from the supersonic explosion! We witness the ultimate warrior metamorphosis. The entire planet is engulfed in Kartik’s newfound power! A petrifyed and flabbergausted Kalienna is paralyzed at the magnum opus worthy masterpiece that stands before her. Kartkik has ascended a cronos and has become “Prime Kartik.” He is surrouned with electric sparks and a fiery red aura. His hair is spiked and very long and he is taller and far more taut. His shirt is also completely torn off. Ok, think super saiyan but way more bad-ass looking. Another battle ensues. Kalienna, now sensing a great evil within Kartik, who is fueled with a feral thanatos, throws a sun-shattering attack at Karthik who literally lifts the humungous ki-ball with his pinky and “flicks” it towards her. She teleports to safety and the attack is thrown into orbit. Karthik then punches her so hard that she is thrown into space and into the sun that Karthik used to illuminate the pedastle. Karthik thinks she’s dead, but the Empress has power that could kill pre-crisis superman, and her mere aura causes the sun to explode in a supernova exploison (basically she yells and the masterdon explodes). Kalienna then tells Karthik what his initial mission was and to remember the rigtheous person that he is (or was…). As Karthik is contemplating what she said, Kalienna using her nigh-limitless telekenisis to slam two stars (20 times bigger than our sun) together at 15 times light speed. Karthik is sandwiched in the middle as the explosion makes the prior explosion look like a fart. As the rubble and smoke clears, the seemingly omnipotent Karthik is unscathed and tells her that he lost his train of thought. He then remembers that only Omnipota can destory her so using his telekenisis summons the mystical blade and peforms the coolest multi-slash attack in opus history! Kalienna falls back onto Sorrowna’s terrain. After becoming Prime Karthik, develops several new powers. He is 10 times more powerful than he was when he first arrived on the planet. He can now move titanic stars with ease; can sense power levels and the “affiliation” (goodness/badness) of people; can “delve” into people’s pasts (think retro-clairvoyance); and can “instantly-transport” himself or any matter anywhere in the universe as long as he has visited that locale before. He can also destory entire galaxies now, whereas before (post-training) he could barely destory planets. Anyway, he “instantly-transports” himself to where Kalienna lays near death. She tells him that she prevaricated so that he could unleash his latent power and be the best. With his new mind-reading powers, he discovers that she’s telling the truth. Now that his rage has subsided, he transforms back into regular Karthik. His charming, goofy (think Goku)and compassionate temperment is demonstarted again as the audience cheers his victory. Has Kartik become the legendary Cronos? He gives her his last Panebena and she gives him the orb. Shit happens and everyone killed by Mortamus’ cardinal sin are resurrected. A hollywood type glorious scene ensues, showing loved one’s being reuinted and stuff. Prakash is brought back in a pool of cosmic light, and Kartik runs towards him and embraces him, crying hysterically. Prakash has no idea what the hell is going on and he just stands there perplexed. Kalienna shines a goregous smile that makes the audience’s heart melt and some guy’s get “excited.” Karthik introduces Kalienna to Prakash, lying that she capitulated the orb willingly through the goodness of her heart and the audience laughs. Karthik then tells Kalienna to come with him and Prakash to Earth now that she has nothing to guard and what not (and because he secretly has a major crush on her [more of that in movie III]) and she agrees. Because Prakash cannot breathe in space, Kartik uses his newfound “instant-transmission” power to teleport all three of them back to earth in less than a second (think omega-light speed). Maxsimus seems crestfallen, sitting limply on his throne. He is stunned to see his two sons and Kalienna (whom he has heard legendary tales about) standing before him smiling vibrantly. The two sons embrace their ecstatic father. Lucky for Prakash that he can’t sense power levels or his brother’s newfound power would’ve made him piss his pants with envy. Credits Roll.
hey ya’ll to be honest i havent really read through all of the above but i really need to get in touch with peter jackson so if anyone knows his e mails can i PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! have it my addy is [email protected] Thank you soo much this would really mean a lot me me
hey ya’ll to be honest i havent really read through all of the above but i really need to get in touch with peter jackson so if anyone knows his e mails can i PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! have it my addy is [email protected] Thank you soo much this would really mean a lot me me
Mr. Jackson,
You did such a great job with “The Lord of the Ring” I was wondering if you would consider making “Battlefield” earth into a movie. There is a move made about it already but it does the book no justice and I know you can do a much better job.
hi this is mannava janaki rambabu. I prepared a story of indian fantasy and flavour. According to my opinion Mr. Peter jackson is right person to mould it on silver screen. by the by i am working as a camera man in the Indian Film industry.
hi this is mannava janaki rambabu. I prepared a story of indian fantasy and flavour. According to my opinion Mr. Peter jackson is right person to mould it on silver screen. by the by i am working as a camera man in the Indian Film industry.Please send his email ID or house phone number or house address to approach him
You SUCK!
You SUCK!
Hi all!
G’night
I actually concocted a 4-part quadrilogy. In movie I (“Legends of Promethia: Preluda Termina”), Gabriel and Michael’s space pod crash lands near the vicinity of the Promethean guardian, Maxsimus. Maxsimus takes the two infants into his care and raises them as his own. Gabriel and Michael’s biological parents were killed with the rest of their race on Planet Gaia when Thanatos (a megalomaniacal, nefarious tyrant) decimated it with his “mark of fate” attack. The reason why he destroyed the planet is because his oracle prophesized that one of their kind (The Edenians) would destroy him. Michael and Gabriel’s parents anticipated the apocalypse and so they sent them to a distant planet for refuge (e.g., Promethia). The two brothers grow older and learn about the ways of the world, and all its flaws and hypocrisy. They realize that it is their destiny to create benevolent systemic change in the world. Indeed, the world is an evil place not because of evildoers but because of those who stand idle and do nothing. A huge revolution scene ensues soon thereafter. Africa’s poverty system is shattered; communism and the Czar fall; the Aids pandemic is neutralized; capitalism undergoes a metamorphosis and becomes a hybrid of neo-socialism and “bona-fide” new-gen “fascism”; Al Qaeda and other warmongering factions are terminated one by one; funds are siphoned from the egregiously affluent to the wretchedly destitute; free universal health care and free formal education are standardized; hybrid ethanol fueled vehicles become the norm; the holes in the ozone layer are patched up via Michael’s “Hydro-Frost” beam; and so on and so forth. The brothers will not take the “Superman” approach to the revolution. Vigilante justice? Diplomacy be damned. After 3 brutally long years, the world becomes a veritable utopia.
Now its time for some fun! Gabriel and Michael’s “birth-day” celebration is underway. (Their father told them it was on August 12th [De facto, the day they landed on Promethia as infants].)Gabriel and Michael love to compete, but have the utmost respect for one other. The 4-part movie series will focus mainly on their altruistic, gemeinschaft relationship with each other. Anywho, to celebrate their 18th birthday’s they breakdance/battle at a club, engage in some thrilling parkour; purchase an X-Box 360 and a copy of Gears of War; and just have a blast kicking ass. I don’t want to create clichĂ©d superheroes in my story. I want them to be bad-ass yet emphatic; brilliant yet colloquial; and suave yet nonchalant: in sum, a conglomeration of paradoxes for it is part of the human condition. Moreover, the two brothers struggle with their duties as sons, heroes, students, and workers. Michael is part of the Big Brothers organization and decides to become an anti-viral chemist after his young gamin friend dies of leukemia in front of his eyes. Gabriel wants to be a novelist but he also has a flair for composing music and writing charming ballads. Michael and Gabriel are dichotomized by one fundamental difference: Michael is a pacifistic diplomat while Gabriel is a no-nonsense, ironic justice oriented, pathological sadist. That is, Gabriel enjoys killing wrongdoers with disturbing macabre twists. For instance, in one scene a 10 month old infant is charred by flames ignited by a flaring pyromaniac. Since Gabriel is a telepath, he hones in on the mind-signal of the arsonist via esp. and captures the bastard. Gabriel chimes, “Since you like fire so much, why don’t you bathe in it?” Gabriel then flambé’s a garbage can and throws the arsonist into it, as the fumes of hatred permeate the air with the stench of death. In another scene Gabriel and an underground conspirator guild ratchet up a plethora of pedophiles in rungs and unleash flesh-starved lycanthropic rats on them to “purify their Eiffel Towers” if you get my drift.
We will now discuss Michael and his compassion for humanity. While Michael and his pals are about to fire up SOE for a frag-em-up Killzone schlokfest, Channel 666 news shows a young lady being held hostage by a deluded terrorist. Michael arrives on the scene, freezes time with his “Kodak Moment” incantation and approaches the petrified terrorist. Michael then delves into the psychopath’s mind using his “Retro-Clairvoyance” necromancy spell and realizes that the man had a sick and twisted past: His father and mother were murdered before his eyes; his foster mother molested him and his sister who was later killed in a hit and run; his depression led to drugs which led to drug dependency; and this in turn led him to a life of crime to pay for his addiction. Michael pities the poor man and gives him $20,000 and a new lease on life. This same man later becomes a respected businessman and we will encounter him in the third movie, “Legends of Promethia: Fallen Angel.”
Most of the movie will focus on introspection, characterization, emotive discourse, filial love, divine piety, political intrigue, and other issues that draw parallels to our bleak reality. Throw in a couple of scenes at their school, b-ball court, work places, home, and church for good measure. Did I mention that Michael is a devout Christian while Gabriel is more of a secular, arrogant humanist? You can imagine the conversations they have on abortion, celibacy, and the existence of a higher power! There is also this really neat tournament that occurs once a year on Promethia where all the mightiest warriors in the universe duel blades and fists for cosmic supremacy. Maxsimus won the tournament two years ago and became the undisputed “Heavyweight Champion of the Universe”, but later lost to his son, Michael. Michael then faced Gabriel and beat the bejessus out of him like C-smock rounds do Kevlar. Did I mention that Michael is far more powerful than his brother and is essentially better than him in every mentionable regard? Maybe it has something to do with the pureness of his heart and his unrelenting WASP ethic. The tournament in the movie will involve the rematch between Gabriel and Michael for the heavyweight championship. Their best friends, Daniel and Alexander Phoenix, will also be part of the tournament, amongst several others. Daniel is Michael’s protégé while Alex is affiliated with Gabriel’s crew. I think Wrestlemania theatrics, and matrix meets Dragonball fight sequences would be the perfect combination to up the ante on the epicness of the tournament.
Anyway, Michael wins handily yet again and gives his injured brother a “panabena” (panacea + bean) to heal his wounds. Michael donates the 50 million dollars he won to charity, as usual: Money is the root of all evil and is the manifestation of primordial vice. Damn, there are so many more details and meticulous minutia I could delve into, but I know your time is precious so I’ll rap movie one up. A massive demonic beast ravages France, and Gabe and Mike duke it out with it using their divine melee blades, “Damage Ascension” and “Rough Divide.” Until that moment, they had never encountered anything paranormal. What is this thing? The ominous messenger of death? They manage to destroy it but millions are killed in the process. Gabriel is also nearly killed in the skirmish. A week later Gabriel and Michael go to watch the latest Superman movie (e.g., Superman Returns) and are debating over whether Goku or Superman would win in a fight and which character is more intriguing. They then turn on the radio (of their solar powered car) and a news feed dictates that all of India and China has been obliterated by a seemingly omnipotent mystic force!!! As Michael is more powerful he tells his brother he is going to investigate the matter. A dejected Gabriel returns home to confront his father Maxsimus. He never understood why he was always in his brothers shadow, playing second fiddle regardless of his efforts to ascend past the status-quo. Crestfallen, Maxsimus informs Gabriel of a way that he can become more powerful and leads him through an esoteric passage. Maxsimus has an ulterior motive: namely, if Michael fails to defeat the enigmatic force that has annihilated Asia, Gabriel would stand as the last defense against the malevolent ethereal daemon. Maxsimus shows his son the “Acceleron Magnus Chamber.” The chamber contains an alternate dimension where 7 years equal to 7 days in earth time. The training session initiated within the chamber is run by an unquenchable demon who desires warrior souls. Only Maxsimus had survived the brutal training session and it was with the newfound power than he obtained that he was able to become the Promethean guardian. There are three levels of “difficulty” in the chamber. They are strength, power, and supremacy, with supremacy being the most arduous. Maxsimus survived the “strength” campaign and tells his son to enlist in the same. An angry and tortured soul enters the chamber and selects “power” against his father’s wishes.
Meanwhile, a flabbergasted and melancholic Michael witnesses the most cataclysmic scene of death and bloodshed ever witnessed on screen. A soiled, bloody toddler emerges from some rubble and approaches Michael, bellowing with morose induced tears. Michael uses his transport telekinesis abilities to transfer his bed to the scene of carnage and tells the child to rest on it while he contemplates what to do next. Michael queries, “Who could have committed such an atrocity?” to which a gargantuan being muses, “Looking for me?” The “thing” that stands before him is Thanatos, the sadistic brute that destroyed his home planet. A revelatory scene ensues where Michael learns of his true origins. “The prophecy will not be fulfilled” grunts Thanatos. He then kills the innocent little child. “You wretched swine, she was but an infant!” Michael roars. “All human’s are puerile scum…why should I discriminate?” chimes Thanatos. Michael wants to kill Thanatos but doesn’t want to risk the total annihilation of the planet. Ergo, Thanatos creates a portal that serves as a catalyst to a desolate, barren, dystopia that Thanatos calls “Dante’s Inferno.” The greatest battle in cinematic history ensues that makes the “Big Burly Brawl” from the Matrix Revolution’s look like amateur You Tube sludge. Michael manages to dismember Thanatos with his enchanted Rough Divide and his signature blitzkrieg “Apocalyptica.” The prophecy has been fulfilled. However, Thanatos concocted a ruse and became Michael’s architect of demise. A titanic bomb was implanted in the planet’s core and if Michael doesn’t find the gateway back to Promethia he will die with the impending explosion, for Edenians cannot “breathe” in space. A detonation scene ensues as cosmic fires and scenic lighting bolts set the skies alight. Michael desperately tries to find the portal but to no avail: he dies in a pool of blanche light. A devastated Maxsimus (who can see universal affairs with his powers) falls to the ground and states, “Not like this.” There is no victory without sacrifice. Credits roll. If you are interested in reading parts 2-4, please email me at [email protected] for the transcripts. Thank you for reading.
Good day,i am a realestate agent in west coast of south island new zealand,a client of mine has 1200acres of magical unique country a valley over from where mr jackson made one of his movies in the last few years.mr currie asked me to contact mr jackson to talk to him about a maori movie set in the moa days that mr currie has the idea of and also the perfect land to use for this type of movie with caves and tall limestone cliffs and remote beautiful rivers and native bush where it seems the maori have lived way back then.its a very original property.i have pictures i can download to mr jackson and im available by phone and email.please advise me of his contact details or his assistant
Good day,i am a realestate agent in west coast of south island new zealand,a client of mine has 1200acres of magical unique country a valley over from where mr jackson made one of his movies in the last few years.mr currie asked me to contact mr jackson to talk to him about a maori movie set in the moa days that mr currie has the idea of and also the perfect land to use for this type of movie with caves and tall limestone cliffs and remote beautiful rivers and native bush where it seems the maori have lived way back then.its a very original property.i have pictures i can download to mr jackson and im available by phone and email.please advise me of his contact details or his assistant
Good day,i am a realestate agent in west coast of south island new zealand,a client of mine has 1200acres of magical unique country a valley over from where mr jackson made one of his movies in the last few years.mr currie asked me to contact mr jackson to talk to him about a maori movie set in the moa days that mr currie has the idea of and also the perfect land to use for this type of movie with caves and tall limestone cliffs and remote beautiful rivers and native bush where it seems the maori have lived way back then.its a very original property.i have pictures i can download to mr jackson and im available by phone and email.please advise me of his contact details or his assistant
Mr. jackson i am 12 years old and i love your work and do you know how long till you make the hobbit if your planning to make it? if you do make the hobbit where do i have to go to audition for a spot? last question if your not going to make the movie then why not?
Mr. jackson i am 12 years old and i love your work i also have a few questions., do you know how long till you make the hobbit if your planning to make it? if you do make the hobbit where do i have to go to audition for a spot? last question if your not going to make the movie then why not?
Mr. jackson i am 12 years old and i love your work i also have a few questions., do you know how long till you make the hobbit if your planning to make it? if you do make the hobbit where do i have to go to audition for a spot? last question if your not going to make the movie then why not?
Mr. jackson i am 12 years old and i love your work i also have a couple questions., if you do make the hobbit where do i have to go to audition for a spot? and if you’re not going to make the movie then why not?