The Two Kinds of Christmas Shoppers

by J.D. Roth

There are two kinds of Christmas shoppers: the Gateses and the Roths.

By now, the Gateses have finished all their Christmas shopping. They’ve wrapped all their gifts, addressed all their cards, and have only to make a trip to the post office to be done with the season. Gateses begin the Christmas shopping on December 26th; all year round, they pick things up here and there for the people on their list. During the week after Thanksgiving, Gateses sit in front of the television, wrapping presents for hours.

Roths, on the other hand, are only just now beginning to think of Christmas. They’ve just received a Christmas bonus in their paychecks, and it has occurred to them that perhaps it’s time to buy some gifts. Roths have begun to deliberate over whom they ought to buy for this year: which friends, which family members. Roths don’t think of Christmas until after Thanksgiving. It’s true that if Roths see something Just Right during the year, they’ll pick it up as a future gift, but they’re also likely to forget they ever bought that little something. Roths have a long couple weeks ahead of them.

Kris is a Gates. I’m a Roth.

Updated: 02 December 2005

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