My drive to work Monday morning was typical: a slow, winding jaunt through Oak Grove, Gladstone, Oregon City, and then to Canby. Traffic moved smoothly. There was nothing out of the ordinary.

All that changed, however, once I turned onto Ivy for the final stretch to the office. When I entered the school zone, the car in front of me slowed to 20mph. This is annoying, but it’s not uncommon. For some reason, a few people don’t realize that a sign which reads SPEED 20mph 7-5 School Days doesn’t apply to traffic at 6:50am. What was annoying is when the driver in front of me didn’t bother to increase speed after the school zone ended.

The driver did accelerate once we hit the 40mph zone, but rather than increase speed once we passed the End 40mph sign, continued to putter along at 40mph for mile after mile, out past Lone Elder, out past Four Mile Nursery, all the way to Gribble Road. I hadn’t been late to work before, but I was pushing it now. (Being late to work once in a pay period costs me $50.)


My drive to work yesterday morning was typical: a slow, winding jaunt through Oak Grove, Gladstone, Oregon City, and then to Canby. Traffic moved smoothly. There was nothing out of the ordinary.

All that changed, however, once I turned onto Ivy for the final stretch to the office. When I entered the school zone, the car in front of me slowed to 20mph.

“What the—?” I said out loud. I looked. It was the same car as Monday: an older white sports car with the license plate 605 BZT. I groaned and resigned myself to the exquisite torture ahead of me. I checked my clock. It was 6:53, which left me seven minutes to get to work without losing my on-time bonus. Normally this would be a four or five minute drive. Now? It was hard to say.

Again the driver maintained 20mph even after he school zone. Again the driver stayed at 40mph all the way to Gribble Road. Again I barely made it to work on time.


My drive to work today was a little unusual, though it was never quite fun: my slow, winding jaunt to Canby was enlivened by the first mush snowflakes of an expected one-inch accumulation. My wipers didn’t actually handle them well for some reason. I listened to my audiobook on my iPod, and enjoyed the white stuff.

All that changed, however, once I turned onto Ivy for the final stretch to the office. When I entered the school zone, the car in front of me slowed to 20mph. “It can’t be!” I said to myself. But it was. There in front of me was my friend, 605 BZT.


I actually have a hypothesis about drivers like this. They’re not uncommon around Canby. I suspect that they’re recent Mexican transplants who are not familiar with English or the traffic laws. New arrivals are tentative drivers who only see the numbers and don’t understand the text of the sign. I have no way to test this hypothesis, of course. (Also, I know it sounds vaguely racist. Trust me — it’s not.)

5 Replies to “605 BZT”

  1. JENEFER says:

    Perhaps if you left 5 minutes earlier, the annoying driver would be behind you instead of in front on you. Take control!

  2. duh says:

    Um, pass him?

    Or

    Run him off the road and scream as you go by, “Get off my f***ing road!”

  3. J.D. says:

    There is *no* space to pass from 99e to Gribble Road. Seriously. Five miles of hell.

  4. Dave says:

    I could run his plate and then send him a cease and desist letter. If that doesn’t work we could sue him for the intentional infliction of emotional distress.

    You’d have to pay me by the hour for that one, though. No contingent fee agreement for this.

  5. lee says:

    Actually, you’ve entered the Twilight Zone….

    DeedeedeedeeDeedeedeedee

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