I’ve complained a lot lately about how busy I am. “I’m a workaholic,” I told Mac yesterday.
“No,” he said. “You’re a stressaholic.” Ouch.
I want to believe he’s wrong but, well, there’s evidence that he’s right. I can’t say no to anyone who wants my time. I take on far more than I can ever complete. It’s not good.
What I find enlightening, however, is how I’m reacting this morning. I’m sick. Yesterday afternoon and evening, I began to feel nauseated, and I developed a fever. The fever’s been running at 102 for the last 12 hours. I cannot sleep. I need to throw up, but I can’t let myself do it. (I hate throwing up.)
More importantly, it’s time to take a break. When I’m this sick, there’s just no way for me to be productive. And yet doing nothing doesn’t seem like an option. I feel like there are so many things on my list, and doing nothing leads me to fall further and further behind.
I stopped to think this morning: When was the last time I actually did nothing for a day? I can’t remember. I watched the first half of Aliens about a month ago, but felt guilty for not working so I stopped midway through. Other than that, I can’t remember the last time I read for pleasure, or watched television, or browsed my comics.
So today I’m going to try to do nothing. I’ll read some comics or watch a movie or, well, sleep. Sleep sounds good.
But right now, maybe I’ll try to go throw up.
I’m sorry to hear that you are sick, but I am happy to hear that you are taking a break. Gotta do it JD, even if you have to schedule it in!
From another stressaholic – relaxing doesn’t make me feel better, it makes me feel worse, at least when I am relaxing at home. I stress because I have so many things that I want to do floating around in my head that it gets overwhelming. Sitting around just gives me time to think about what I should be doing and that makes me stress more because I am not doing it. Lists, though… lists are my therapy. Not only can I then get stuff out of my head but then I can actually see what needs to get done immediately and then only focus on those items. Cut the bushes by the pond? – that can be done in the spring. Send out christmas cards? – can’t wait for spring on that one! It helps me to see what pressures are real and which are just internal.
Being sick, on the other hand, is a whole ‘nuther ball game. That’s your body telling you, “put me first on your list.” Get well soon and try not to spend your recovery day obsessing about everything you want to be doing instead!
Get better soon, J.D. I hate throwing up, too. I hope you don’t have to do too much (or really any!) of that before you are well.