Here’s a little story demonstrating two ways in which I am getting old…

I biked to the gym this morning to do my upper-body lifting.

Because the aerobics floor was vacant, I started by doing my stretching there. I touched my toes. I crossed my legs and touched my toes. I crossed my legs the other way and touched my toes. (Note that when I say “touched my toes”, I actually mean “reached toward my toes”. My doctor says I have the flexibility of a two-by-four. He’s right. I can’t even come close to touching my toes.) I stretched my quads. I stretched my IT band. I did some crunches. I did my pushups for the day.

When I’d finished, I went downstairs and lifted weights. I did dumbbell bench presses. I did some triceps exercises. I did some biceps curls. I worked on my shoulders. (The weights I’m lifting are relatively still light, but I don’t care. I’m getting stronger, and I know it.)

After working out, I biked home.

I checked my e-mail, checked the web sites, and then hopped in the shower. When I had scrubbed and shampooed, I stood at the sink to shave. I used my favorite lime-scented shaving cream. (I love the stuff. Love love love.) As I shaved, I thought about what I was going to write for the day.

When I’d finished, I used a damp towel to scrub the remaining shaving cream from my face. But it wouldn’t all come off. As I thought about Individual Retirement Accounts, I wiped my face again. Still the cream wouldn’t come off — it was stuck to my beard.

“That’s strange,” I thought, dampening the towel once more. I scrubbed harder. Still nothing. Lots of white cream on the beard.

Then it dawned on me: that’s not cream. That is my beard.

Man, I’m getting old.

5 Replies to “Old Man”

  1. Mitch says:

    Awwww 🙁

    Now, imagine the gray if you had kids

  2. Mom says:

    LOL! I do believe you take after your dad. I haven’t had any gray in my hair yet, although I keep expecting at least one or two to show up. But then my dad never did have any, either.

  3. Amy Jo says:

    This has been my year for gray hair! It really pisses me off.

  4. Amy Jo says:

    I meant to say that you look “distinguished.”

  5. LOL! on the topic of grey facial hair. My neighbor shaved his goat recently (in california we don’t all have barn yard animals – I mean his goatee or course – just realized as I wrote this that I am writing primarily to Oragonians that probably have to shave their goats at some point. Do people even shave goats) Anyhow, he found that at the age of 43 he was just not ready for all the grey he was seeing on his chin and decided to do away with it entirely. I started feeling the same way back in March when i noticed much more white than normal in my huge goat. I shaved it over spring break and found that it looked worse without it. I have since grown it back and just ignore the white. No one seems to mind the salt and pepper as much as my bare chin.

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