by J.D. Roth
This book is by Harrison, Emma, and J.D.
Emma and Harrison. They made cookies. Cookies. And they made more and more cookies. And more and more. And more and more. And they played Play-Do. And they made gingerbread men out of paper at my preschool! And they vote for beavers. Beavers. Beavers. Beavers! We hate ducks. We like to make cookies. We like to make gingerbread houses. And we like making fun of ducks. And we like making fun of J.D. [Kris: Everyone likes that.] And mommy got mad at Harrison for smacking the toy at the window that I really didn’t do. I didn’t do anything.
Uh. What? The end. The end of a different story, silly! (There’s a hundred stories in this silly book.)
There was a frog on J.D.’s shoulder. It kept croaking and annoying him while he was listening to J.D.’s famous music. And then J.D. said, “I won’t sing, I won’t sing, I won’t sing until you get off of my shoulder now!” Boing boing boing. The frog boinged out the door and he bounced off J.D.’s hat that was on the hook. And J.D. said, “You! You’re all wet, you! You get off of my hat.”
“NOW!” J.D. demanded.
And Scout said, “Please don’t demand at that frog. He was our friend.”
And the frog said, “Ribbit ribbit ribbit” at J.D. and punched him on the head with one of his legs.
And J.D. said, “Ribbit”.
The gingerbread house bonked away. Clara was in the gingerbread house. Clara saw the Lorax. Now the Christmas tree rose up and bonked away, too. Clara got scared. She banged the house down, and the gingerbread fell on her, and she just ate and ate and ate until she was just as full as she can get. Then Clara told her mom about her journey. The end.
And Darth Vader scared the lambs. Darth Vader had a red light saber and zapped the lambs’ bottoms. He ripped their bottoms off. The goats whapped Darth Vader on the head until his helmet knocked off. And then they knocked his suit off until he was Anakin again. Then he changed to the good side. And then the goats said “baaah” and went back to their grazing. The end.
The hippo turned around. His name was Hippododups. Then Emma said “I want to play with Hippododups” and the hippo kicked her out of orbit. Then she flew into space. She had a beautiful sight, but she couldn’t breathe. Then when Emma landed, she choked J.D. The end.
Once upon a time there was a bowl of cookies. And the bowl got baked. And the bowl melted in the oven. Emma and J.D. and Harrison and mommy and Kris had a fight with the bowl. They threw the bowl at each other. The end.
Once there was J.D., Emma, and Harrison. They were all fooling around. And everyone knocked their heads off. And one day they they all grew back, so they threw plates at each other. Then they had a fight with ice, but none of them got hurt with that one. [Harrison: You’re typing like crazy. J.D.: That’s because you’re talking like crazy.] Then they had a fight with hats. None of them got hurt with that one except the little tips on the inside that have metal on them. That hurt a little bit. The end.
One time the world was very very young. The end.
The end of this book is chapter ten. We’re not at chapter ten yet, but we are at chapter nine. The end.
The end of this book written by Harrison and Emma and J.D. The end of this book narrated by J.D., no-one, and no-one.
Updated: 17 December 2005