by J.D. Roth
All the heat in my life is vanishing.
First, the heater in my car gave out on Tuesday morning. I’m sure this is a quick fix, but I don’t have time to take it in. I’m playing Santa for Custom Box, so I’ll need to wait a week or so before I can have the heater repaired.
Then this morning the space heater in my office seems to be operating at half power. It’s blowing air, but it’s tepid air. It doesn’t warm me. It’s bad enough that Nick has begun turning the heater off at night instead of letting it operate at a low level, but now the thing barely works at all. Brrrr cold.
I might be able to tolerate this lack of heat if my clothes kept me warm. But because of my current girth, few things fit. Normally I’d wear my long johns, but they don’t “go” with the sweater I wore today, for example. I need to see customers, so I can’t look like a total hick. (I do have my long underpants on, and that’s some consolation.) Also, for some reason my socks and shoes are providing no protection this morning — my toes are cold.
All of this could be forgiven under normal circumstances. If I could come home in the afternoon to take a hot bath, it wouldn’t matter. A long soak in a hot tub would warm my inner core. It’s not happening. For some reason, we’ve got plenty of scalding water in the morning, but when I try to take a bath at 4pm, all I get is the lukewarm stuff. Ugh.
I draw a lukewarm tub anyhow, and I sit in it, shivering while I watch old Star Trek episodes. Every so often I’ll run the water for a couple minutes in the hope that somehow it will have heated. Occasionally I get lucky. Occasionally there is hot water. But a lot of its effect is negated by the fact that even when the water eventually is hot, it starts out cold. The first water from the faucet is ice cold, and it stays that way for ten or fifteen seconds. Or longer if there isn’t actually any hot water.
Updated: 12 December 2007